Doom Camera of Doom
by TheWhyteRabbyt
Summary: Zim's multiple attempts to procure Dib's camera which contains...some rather expository pictures. After working hard and facing many obstacles, he realizes he overthought it. ZaGf. One-shot.


Surprise! This is a little addition to today's entries. In my English class, we had to write an adventure story, so I thought, if the fountain's already flowing, why not use the water elsewhere? So here it is. I tried to make it simple, but pretty close to a normal episode. Hope you like it!

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><p><span>Doom Camera of Doom<span>

Ordinarily, Zim wasn't too upset about Dib's threats to expose him for "the horrible alien menace" he was. Despite the green skin, his lack of a human nose and ears, and his strange snake-like tongue, Zim had so far succeeded in blending in with the humans without incident. Except for maybe that one time with the Megadoomer…and maybe that other time with Ultra-Peepi and the Hamstergeddon. However, this time was different! If Zim was going to be exposed, it would be by him conquering the planet. It was _not_ going to be by Dib, that interfering, big-headed child.

So Zim sat, his Pak legs attaching him to the outside of Dib's house, with his atomatizer gun. If his plan worked, he would sneak into Dib's unoccupied room, get the camera, and then blast it to smithereens. Dib wouldn't notice till he came home from hunting Bigfoot, and there would be yet another victory for Zim! Zim held his arms aloft, imagining his victory celebration with Gir, his demented little robot. He peered through the walls with his x-ray goggles, searching for any sign of Dib in his room. He was so intent on his search that he didn't hear the garage door open—he didn't hear Tak's reprogrammed ship (now in the possession of Dib) sneak up on him. Suddenly, a bright beam of light illuminated his lurking figure, blinding him.

"Intruder alert! Zim approaching from the eastern wall! Defensive mode activated!" The ship extended one of its robotic tendrils at lightning speed, grasping Zim around his small middle, and nearly crushing his Pak legs. He gasped for air.

"You horrible traitor! How dare you let yourself—Irken technology—be reprogrammed by human _filth_?" Zim shook a tiny fist at the large maroon ship. The ship paused, it's A.I. brain analyzing the insult. It began smashing Zim into the ground. It spoke in its robotic Dib-voice.

"Zim throwing insults around: now exercising retaliatory action." Zim gasped with pain as he hit the ground—once, twice, _three _times too many! He took aim with the atomatizer gun and blasted the robotic arm to nonexistence. He hit the ground and scurried away. The ship eyed its lack of limb, and then promptly "fainted". Zim exhaled with relief and scaled the house again. This time, he wasted little time checking for Dib. He opened the window, and began "Phase Two".

Just as Zim set foot in Dib's room, one of Dib's floating communication screen turned towards him. It was one of the Swollen Eyeball members! It raised an eyebrow (or so its silhouette suggested), and studied him.

_Curse that paranormal society!_ Zim thought to himself. The screen approached him.

"You're not Dib! Hey, aren't you that kid he's always saying is an alien? I bet you're here to place a spy camera on the Swollen Eyeballs! I better call security!" The figure moved to pick up a phone. Zim yelped with distress and thought fast. He reached one of his Pak legs into the transmitter at the base of the screen. A metallic leg appeared on the other side of the connection. The silhouette jumped back.

"Don't you come at me with that…that…_thing_!" Zim set the leg to electric-shock-and-memory-erase. He aimed at the human.

"I have mace—AUGH!" The human shrieked before collapsing, sizzling with electricity. Zim sighed and wiped his forehead with the back of one of his gloved hands. He decided to stomp on the screen for good measure, but it didn't break. Instead, it electrified _him_ and sent him flying from the window. The screen was A.I. too. As Zim hit the ground outside, he looked up in time to see the security system set in. Lasers activated across the inside of Dib's room, and iron bars locked in front of the window.

"Curse you, human technology! Curse youuuuu!" Zim shouted and shook his fist at the window. Behind him, a rasping female voice spoke.

"Zim, what are you doing out here? If you want to play with Dib, he's out hunting Bigfoot." Zim turned to face Gaz, Dib's little sister. She opened one of her perpetually-squinting eyes and stared at him blankly. Zim opened his mouth to tell her, "Foolish human worm-baby, the almighty Zim has no _time_ for play", but something else happened.

Instead, Zim paused for thought. He thought and he thought and he thought, as if he had never thought before. He eyed Gaz, who had returned both eyes to squinting, and then he eyed the window. Then, Irken Invader Zim had an idea. He turned to Gaz and in his most eloquent voice, asked her something.

"Gaz-human, will you get the Dib-stink's camera from his room for Zim?" Gaz looked at the Irken with both eyes open slightly, closed them again. She shrugged.

"Okay, stay here for a few." The human girl turned. She disappeared into the house for approximately five human minutes, returned—with camera in hand—to Zim. She placed the camera in his gloved hands. He smiled triumphantly.

At long last, he held the doom camera of doom in his mighty Irken hands. He needed to take time to think more often; it yielded excellent results.

"Well, see you, I guess." Gaz shrugged as she went back inside. Zim waved at her retreating form, turning to head back to the base. As he neared the end of the street, he looked back, watching Gaz through her lit bedroom window as she played videogames from her bed. He smiled to himself. _Zim thinks,_ he speculated, _he has made a…friend._ He turned to keep walking. As he disappeared into the moonlit night, he jumped and clicked his heels.

~The End~

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><p>Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim.<p> 


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